change....

shakes up the soul.... elevating it to see a different view of its pre-existing condition... of it's world... progression... music... leaving before you loathe something... but after you've grown tired of your space... of your feelings in your space.... somewhere in between those two. feel good in your work... it's important to make that a standard.

lighter... the weight... excited for tomorrow.

grateful for the experience and so blessed by the people.

holiday candle. 7eleven coffee. gummy worms. flowers. radiohead. nathan. writing. smoking. being in a new succession of moments that will create the next year... two... three...

gift.

j'adore this painting. a gift from my buddy jyl. while house sitting her beautiful space when she traveled india a year ago, i fell more and more in love with this painting which hung on her wall from bedroom to kitchen. the subject's slightly masculine hand. almond puppy eyes. sharp mouth. it's always seemed 'sexual' to me. but, i've heard 'strong'. i suppose it could be both. or neither. we'd have to ask its creator: .

jyl is changing the color decor of her home. while visiting her and her patio, a few evenings ago, for dinner (a delicious spread of garden roasted veggies, tomato nut dipping pate, baguette, pan heated and salted almonds and filberts next to assorted cheeses and blueberries) she gifted me with this piece!

which now sits on my wall leading from bedroom to kitchen.

as i cleaned my apartment tonight, tip top the vintage refrigerator to the saltillo tiles' bottom while listening to interpol once through, i passed her several times and smiled.

cozy clean gratification. m'life in an intentionally-condensed box filled by good energy and meaningful art. that's where i am now and i like it. basking in the glow -or, rather, lingering incense*- of sterilized domestic bliss. grateful. for this. for jyl. and for 'her'. i have a feeling she'll be with me for a long while.

*during a spring trip to mexico, i passed a store front. small space, HUGE smell.. and found myself drawn inward... an earthy smoke with notes of myrth... twisted in such a way that, apparently, speaks to more than just me. imagine?! while perusing the inventory and basking in the legal high of nasal intoxication, a local woman sprung in, going straight for the magical burning sticks, "when i passed by and smelled the store, i was reminded i just burned my last" she lamented in monotone mexican verbiage.

indeed, i picked some up for home. at $5 for 20, i wouldn't have considered resisting. in fact, i picked up 60 sticks.

balloon.

dinner is -soon- served. blue dahlia hummus awaiting pick up. on m'way out m'green door, i grab camera 'just in case'. since when did i become a 'just in case i need this camera sometime in the next ten minutes kinda gal?' i don't know. i honestly use to despise photos. (ask one of best friends, kelly. i spent years dodging her and her snap happy photo finger each time she'd coo, "ooooh. picture time girrrrls.") cringe. this probably runs much deeper psychologically than i care to go or anyone cares to hear. but, maybe not. i just never appreciated posed pictures... they called back to childhood portraits in which we were all captured with tear-stained cheeks, obviously ironed khakis for brother and carefully coordinated Laura Ashley for girls... there we sat... uncomfortable... very few qualities of the end image resembling our actual personalities. or so we hoped.

to negate this experience. perhaps this is why i've found a new medium through the lens. (well, that and it's much cheaper and cleaner than the tubes of oil paint i'd casually blow through). as all outlets, it's a way to express perspective. the way i see things. not necessarily to show other people. but to show me. to save my own view in that moment.... to draw back on for inspiration.

i've fallen in love with my camera and in love with my subjects. i see the world differently because of this new outlet. no, seriously. i have. try it. carry a camera. discover what you've passed a million times over and may have never noticed.

i digress. often.

with one of my most favorite dinners in tow.... BD hummus. heading home. i pass a hot air balloon just east of I35, near 15th st. i stop. and shoot. what you can't see in this photo is the character in the basket... dressed as thomas jefferson. this is what i saw: